What’s The Latest? :

Good News Y’all! I’ve started to figure things out. Shuffling between chronic illness, university woes, friendship explosions, family drama, writing desires and career ambitions will start to have a balance!!!

That’s right, balance!

Every Sunday morning I will be live on Twitch. You can find my stream at:

https://www.twitch.tv/tenguufeather

I will have Discord up as much as possible. The daily link is just below:

My Patreon will be updating and getting better and better… With fan fiction dedicated to fans becoming a thing!

https://www.patreon.com/ilknight

Of course, the classic way to reach me instantly with anything is at my Twitter:

https://twitter.com/nambit_kisa

Or, if you are willing to stick with me on a rough journey you can follow my instagram here:

https://www.instagram.com/nambit_kisa/?hl=en

You can also find updates on Web Novels and Fan Fictions Here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvp3bu31_QfRzNiGzTlbEuw?view_as=subscriber

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!

This month is all about fixing my personal streams, connections and works, BUT NEXT MONTH I am ecstatic to announce the first version of Knights Publications website will go live. If you are looking to be published and are tired or unsure of the publishing industry than this is the site for you. Knights Publications acts as an intermediary and guide to self publishing; meaning you control your work, you actually make a decent profit and no matter what it’s guaranteed publishing!

Even better news! If all goes well, at the end of next month Knights Publications and I will officially be launching our commitment campaign to a new charity in the works: The Zemel Foundation. The non-profit is being set up to help people gain access to all genres of literature.

So, please stop in! Exciting stuff will be happening. I promise y’all.

Also, to all those who have followed my blog, liked things, commented or generally sent me some help I want to thank you for everything. I have scheduled a sit down with someone who is willing to explain wordpress to me, so I will be able to return the favor real soon!

For starters, Knights Publications is currently looking for Authors, Editors, Illustrators and Interns! While, The Zemel Foundation is looking for Interns as well! Please email me if you are interested in any of those and I can pass the information along, so you will be on the site for the actual launch!

Thank y’all for being amazingly wonderful people,

I.L. Knight

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On Top Of The World – Imagine Dragons

It’s A Great Time To Be A Writer :

So I was watching the 2018 panel of upcoming movie trailers from Comic Con and I had it just popped into my head: Now is a wonderful time to be writer.

Don’t get me wrong. We have definitely reached a point where getting published by a publishing company is one of the most crapshot corrupted works possible. Even when you may get published, there are so many ways for people to have more rights over your work than you do, copy you, completely make money off your work, and it goes on….

BUT, we also live in an era were it is possible to publish yourself. There are so many helpful platforms like WordPress to get yourself out there. Platforms like Patreon to help people earn money, or platforms like Amazon where you can self publish.

I think it is an amazing thing to be alive right now. Shoot, even if you are horrible with technology you can get a wee bit further than what you used to be able to do on your own.

That being said, here are some of the movies I am looking forward to:

Aquaman

Shazam

Glass

Invader Zim

Godzilla: King of Monsters

Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil

[ A Discovery Of Witches – b/c the advertisement popped up, so it counts ]

Those two DC movies actually look like they will be good. Thank G-d! (Please no one bring up or mention the Titans trailer).

That’s all I wanted to say for now. I will be uploading fan fiction tonight, so look forward to it!

I.L. Knight

P.S.  DEATH MAGE FINALLY GOT A MANGA~~~~

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Take This Job And Shove It – Johnny Paycheck

 

 

 

[ Image via Pinterest/Mangahere ]

World Cup Blues :

Let me just say this y’all:

I forgot how tiring it is to be on the grind…. or even attempting to be.

I went from having no work to do and just dealing with life frustrations to having to deal with life frustrations, a shit ton of work and attempts to be on my own work spree. FINALLY, I have managed to push through enough of it to post some stuff again. Hopefully, I won’t be to tired after tomorrow’s PR event to add all the drafts I have on the site up.

Item #1 : WOROOOOORORORORORORLLLDLDLDLD CUP

I was rooting for Croatia…. I put money on Croatia…. The match against France was so sad. France was so hungry for it and Croatia just seemed beat up and tired…. After so many days of pushing myself and making sure I was still up to watch the game at one in the morning… can I even call that a good game?

Item #2 : Stepping on up this fashion game of mine

It is no secret that after dealing with my chronic health issues I have 100% revereted into complete comfy clothes is my entire life fashion style. But it may be a secret to some people that there are a select few times were I look at fashionable people with a little bit of envy. I want the confidence to try a whole bunch of styles. I want to walk out with more than sweats and jeans sometimes and be comfortable in my own skin. Shanghai is a blessing for this in a way. Being here is not only inspirational – almost everyone you see loves fashion, from all over the world and decades- but motivational. I am remembering what it is like to want to do my hair and make up if only a little. Some pain is worth it sometimes. If the day isn’t that bad I don’t have to be rocking sweat pants.

Just a quick introduction is all…

Love,

I.L. Knight

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Princess Jellyfish OP

 

 

 

[ Cover Image via Kuragehime/Mangareader ]

Star vs. The Forces of Evil :

So, Star Vs. The Forces of Evil is ending and I am so torn. SO TORN. The problem is I don’t know whether or not I am too upset to watch the end of season 3. This is going to sound like the nerdiest most sappy geek like thing ever, but: I AM REALLY ANNOYED WITH THAT STARCO MOMENT. I get we are probably going to have the cliche where the best friend male character is the predestined fated true love of the female protagonist (because we can never just have a great friend story) happen, but having Marco kiss Star right after Tom and her finally get the growth they should have and be super cute IS JUST PLAN AWFUL. That is a waster of having Tom and Star together or Kelly being interested in Marco. All of that awkwardness could of just waited till the next season. Don’t do it back to back like that.

And you want to know the worst part if you are a Tomstar shipper like me? All the Starco fan fiction children are so amazing. Like seriously amazing. Luna and Cressida and Sam are so great I would love an episode where a bunch of parallel world kids just pop out team up and save Mewni…..Why can’t someone make (specifically draw because I have no talent in that) cute kids for Tomstar? TOM DESERVES CUTE KIDS TOO.

Please, internet if I write bad fan fiction will you help me?

I.L. Knight

tom

Star’s Princess Song – Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil

Web Novel Updates :

Before I sit down in assignment hell and overload I just wanted to quickly update two of the chapters for a web novel I have been shopping around….As soon as I get out from under my assignment and life overload I will update more.

MOOOORRREEEE,

I.L. Knight

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All The Tired Horses – Bob Dylan

 

Temptation of Rps:

I’m really tempted to post on this site the Harry Potter Rps I have with a fellow writer that’s appeared on my site. The problem is, no matter how good they are, there is so much problems with posting and dealing with harry potter stuff that is a struggle bus I’m not 100% like want to have…. But still, this Slytherin love of mine.

I.L. Knight

slytherin

Slytherin Playlist

It’s Sort Of Funny :

My entire life when it came to my appearance I always wanted one thing: to be thin and pale, the sort of heroine chic one would want to protect. Its funny how life turns out sometimes. It did hand me the sick look, just not the fashion … or weight that came with it. I went from hyper and healthy to sick and overweight. When that irony popped up in my head the other day I couldn’t help but laugh. I got everything I ever wanted…. wanted to be a writer? Could still half ass that? Wanted to own my own business and be successful young? I own something on paper? Wanted to be happy? I finally got half way there? Etc…

Yep. Life, G-d, karma gave me everything I wanted. It’s not a cliche unneeded thing it’s just… a joke. It feels like the things I struggled for are a cosmic joke.

I.L. knight

bw

Courage – Superchick

Ruining My Happy Place:

Whelp, I moved houses. And this new house has been super great, it fits every box for a warm happy home that is conducive to living a new chronic life. An added bonus: it is next to the Japanese gardens in my town. It is a great place I love to just sit in silence and like find some time to myself and be around nature. It is a happy place for me in a town that has historically not been so happy for me.

AND THEY RUINED IT. THEY FUCKING RUINED IT. THEY RUINED IT FOR ME SO BADLY I CAN’T GO BACK FOR AT LEAST A YEAR, SO I CAN GET OVER HOW THEY FUCKING RUINED IT.

First, my grandmother went around the gardens complaining how the price of entrance and how it was a money trap. Which she emphasized when she saw the mini shrine statues where people were leaving change as offering for luck. When I tried to explain they are mimicking what is done in Shinto shrines SHE LAUGHED AT EVERYONE. I may make fun of a lot of people, but even I try to respect spirituality… It got even worse when she kept taking water from various water stations in the park only to constantly spit it out and insult it… THEN END THE TOUR BY SAYING LOCAL PARKS ARE FREE AND PRETTIER….

My Aunt decided to remark in her loud New York voice and persona at every single person who passed us and politely asked us to lower our voices. It is a majority silent garden where people come for peace. THERE WAS NOTHING RUDE OR OFFENSIVE FOR WHAT THEY WERE ASKING. I mean everyone in our family was quickly walking through the gardens anyways without looking. What was there for you to stop and talk about.

And there is my mom. My lovely, sweet All-American, blonde cherub of a mother. I WILL NEVER ALLOW YOU IN A PLACE THAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME AGAIN. Forget trying to share common interests, forget having a simple basic conversation with your daughter. Forget all of that! No matter how much you are frustrated with me, UNJUSTLY FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT OF TORMENT I MIGHT ADD, you don’t say stupid fucking cunty shit.

First, you call me dirty, disgusting and belonging in the woods in the morning, because I changed from washing my hair from everyday to every other day or every two days. A thing that I was doing, because I NEED TO FREAKING HEAL MY HAIR THAT IS DAMAGED. Oh no, you don’t stop the day there. You enter my peaceful refuge and in the middle of a crowd of plant appreciating people yell that I am fat. That my trainer, who by the way if you listened your daughter at all in any conversation is there for helping me regain atrophied muscle and mobility, is failing because I look like shit. OH AND LET US REMIND OURSELVES HOW I AM A BITCH, UNWORTHY, MONSTER, COLD, LAZY, STUPID, ETC…. person in front of this now gawking crowd of people. Then follow me off into a side path to scream at me for not meeting your ideals as the perfect fucking daughter.

And even after all of this. I still feel like crap, because you know what. I entered a state I haven’t been in years! I blacked out for a moment. I didn’t see anything or know what I did. I only know that I felt myself falter and try to regain my balance. But I could tell what I did, I gave you a light kick to the back of the leg to shut you up.

Something I can’t even take satisfaction in because, (1) it is wrong to lift your hand to anyone in that manner, (2) it occurred in a state I was not in control of and (3) YOU DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING SHUT UP. No, the only thing that happened is me self reflecting in the car ride home. Remembering the one and only ever time before this something like this has happened…

I was around thirteen. Our problems had been escalating the last year or two with your insanity getting worse and my general emergence into puberty… Bullying in school was getting worse and I myself was sinking deep into something I wouldn’t yet have a name for. I was in the kitchen making breakfast as I did every day for you, even if I knew you were going to not eat it and throw it out anyways. What the fight about I can’t remember. But I will always remember that feeling of blacking out and coming back into yourself only to see a surprising a result. A result that you instantly wish was satisfying, but has the complete opposite effect. At the park, it was kicking you. Back then, it was the sight of egg dripping down your face. I had cracked them on your head… A surprisingly creative thing though.

My favorite place was ruined for me though the moment I made that connection. It would be a place where I was brought back too one of my worst memories. A time when I was so out of control, because of my feelings, I literal lost myself. It made me realize it’s not just pain, hurt, guilt, sadness I have for my family. There is a large boiling cauldron of resentment that doesn’t want to just stay in the pot anymore.

I kind of wonder now… with another place leaving my list of safety zones where I can go to escape everything. Where can I go to calm my mind or get rid of a migraine…

I sort of wish Ukiyo was as true as the stories. I could bend down right by the edge of a pool of water and reach out towards a reflection…Where I went or what the place was didn’t really matter. It was just disconnected, separate, more realistic than a fantasy, but still yet a fantasy.

It would be a completely different world… wouldn’t it?

I.L. Knight

 

 

hotaru-no-hikari

Japanese Instrumental

 

 

*The picture has a cat in it o(≧∇≦o). This almost a perfect recreation of what I wish for my retirement.*

The Classic Bagel Joint :

Every Jewish girl, boy, appreciator has normally one constant in their lives: a good bagel place that knows them since they were children. So naturally, I do as well. A place that stockpiles the good tofu cream cheese and nova. Although, if we are being honest they need to improve their sturgeon game (seriously, it is so dry).

Today, though, in a place where everyone knows everyone, I was embarrassed. With my family it is always the same conversation. My grandfather tells me all the natural remedies and the power of Tumeric and says that will solve everything. It goes on for twenty minutes, as I get lectured on my dependency on medication and how I shouldn’t do my Humera paperwork, because it has so many side effects. I eventually get frustrated with him, because let’s face my entire family ‘cares’ a lot about my illness and has down all the research. You inability to even name what I have, or generally know my health concerns is a great example.

Still, the embarrassment wasn’t coming from me having to tell my grandfather, “Enough. It’s an auto-immune disease, dad. I don’t get to just take Turmeric every night and I will be cured. Besides, I already do take Turmeric every night!”, it came from walking over to my grandmother afterwards. Her words,” Stop it. That’s all you ever talk about. You and your list of problems. I’m tired, or I hurt. We know. You sound like no vaccine people. Natural cures do work sometimes…” You know why you guys can’t name what I have or my symptoms, MAYBE IT IS BECAUSE SINCE I FIRST STARTED HAVING HEALTH PROBLEMS YOU NEVER LET ME FINISH THE LIST OF ISSUES THAT NEEDED TO BE ADDRESSED BECAUSE THAT WAS CALLED COMPLAINING AND DEPRESSION TO YOU. The immediate answer every time can’t be a cut off, positive story, and now let me inspire motivation. Just acknowledge that waking up feeling like your body is on fire, SUCKS ASS. Acknowledge that I try so hard to keep with your beliefs and not be my mother and avoid relying on medication. I avoid pain killers, nerve-blockers, I even try to maintain sleep without sleeping pills, so I am succeeding on my own strength. Why you got to constantly embarrass me like that?

The woman at the cash register even felt like she needed to say something. Her sister has Lupus, so she said she sort of understood what I was going through. I thanked her, said her sister was brave and lucky to have her, got a free coffee, and a good luck from her. You see. Normal way to engage in conversation. Normal actions. No embarrassment.

I really hate that I write about this stuff so much lately. It’s like all the time my writing is about this and all I want to do is be writing about other things…But this is a part of my life now…a big part…a part I’m struggling with, because it affects everything around me and can change me so much. I can’t predict how I’ll be the next day. I can only hope my pre-planning works out. Fevers out of nowhere, forgetting things a lot one day, not being able to concentrate because your brain can literally not follow a sentence, and the constant check ins to monitor your medication or general health is my new life. It’s uncharted rough waters. You don’t know how to stop you from waking up one day and not being able to lift your knee up more than a few inches, or it being a day where you can’t leave your bed for awhile because you are stuck in a position you don’t remember laying in.

You are just in everyone else’s eyes weak and depressed. Even if you know you aren’t depressed, because of how you can see yourself struggling. I mean, I struggle to try and live through this chaotic ups and downs and even try to be strong, to be happy, to recognize I can’t carry the luggage from my past, and that I have to accept things because my body has no other option at this point. Still, I can’t argue it does make me mentally tired. Explaining these things over and over and not getting the results I want, because I myself can’t decide what I want to hear…I can’t even be a good friend sometimes, because I can’t handle another person.

It weighs heavily on my mind how when this all started I didn’t listen to my gut feelings about this all and got to the point I was at. How I can’t lose the weight I gained in any quick manner, because I can’t do the cardio that would burn those calories, and even if I did I need to dedicate time to body weight training sessions to maintain mobility and regain atrophied muscles… It eats away at me SO MUCH.

There’s a reason I am at a bagel place for my cheat day. I need to be able to eat a proper bagel more then every three to four months. I am a Jewish girl. OKAY. We live on this stuff. It is part of our culture. There is even a Yiddish saying about lacking bagels, “Lign in drerd un bakn beygl!” It directly means, May you lie in the ground and bake bagels… In other words, you should burn in hell and be depraved of bagels you are being forced to create. Bagels are serious man….

So can you at least not embarrass me at our bagel joint? Our last name even means bagel…..It should be sacred ground.

I.L. Knight

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Tradition – Fiddler On The Roof